Thoughts...

I think of you often sweet baby girl. I wish I could have viewed your face just once, touched your hand, felt your warmth. But it wasn't meant to happen, it wasn't meant to be. I bet you look alot like Kaitlin and Emilie, the resemblance they have is astounding so I'm sure you are a mix of them as well. I always see green eyes for you however, so I think you have mommy's hazel ones :) Dark hair and a sweet smile.

Christmas has come and went with out you in my belly. You would be due in a few months, but instead we are trying again to conceive. You had a special place on our tree as well, and mommy found a large "s" for you to go on a little tree for next year. I think we will be retiring Kaitlin's purple tree and setting out a regular one for you and her to share :) So many thoughts for next year. I hope you can forgive me this year for not changing the norm.

I love you sweetie... I know you two are probably giving Uncle Vaughn lots of grief and love :) I'm happy your with him. Who better to care for you than the man I felt was a second father to me.

Healing

Sage in her glorious wisdom taught me that I think I suffer from Postpartum Depression. I spent three months....maybe a little more or less...but three in a free fall of emotions. First I could smile, then I was mad, then I would cry. Things that normally brought me joy I hated, etc. I very much felt like another person entirely. I've started coming back around...and it's taken to about three weeks ago for me to realise that I think I have had this same reaction after both Kaitlin's birth and Emilie's. So Sage was sent here to teach...and now I feel her name is even more perfect.