How could I resist when I saw these on ebay. Newborn sized PURPLE OWL outfits. So now my Katie doll and my Emmie Doll are both clothes to honor their unknown sibling that came and went far too fast.
So I'm still finding that my body is holding me back. So yes I understand I had a miscarriage, but geesh the day of it I did almost 2 miles of walking...two days after it and about 1 mile made my uterus do flips. We did some garage sailing today and the same thing. So I should be taking it easy more. Not to mention the slight fuzzy feeling I get after both of those adventures. But I have a little ones birthday, a store and a toddler, slowing down just never happens.
Emotionally I'm still okay. I think on some level I've filed it away to deal with on another day, like I don't want to fully face it. I'm sure it's some sort of coping mechanism. I don't think I have some righteous badge, but I had hoped after dealing with my loss with Kaitlin that I would some how get a pass...no one does...but I had a small thread that I held on to. It's now been cut. So going on to TTC again is a little terrifying. We can try in two cycles...so I have a bit of a wait and time to deal. All sorts of thoughts start running through your head after things happen like this. I mean what is Kaitlin and Emilie are it, the only two babes I ever get to hold. I would have had a fleet of kids had hubby agreed...so it's a hard pill to swallow that I won't have atleast one more..but they are just thoughts not reality right now...so I need to focus. So i focus my diverting my attention...Facebook is a glorious thing isn't it :)
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