So all i can say is that it hasn't happened yet. I think we are moving closer which is keeping me from giving in and calling for meds to help speed this up. The risk of bleeding out is also keeping me from doing it...but most so that I'm now spotting red with some regularity. So I've been told that a sign things could be happening soon. I was a little relaxed this weekend with how much tea I drank...I'm going to do back to hitting it harder today since yesterday and into today the red has increased. I hope someday this blog can just be a resource for someone else who has choose this path.
How am I emotionally? So many things right now. I'm pissed that I should be 10 weeks pregnant and not waiting around for a miscarriage and then another two months before TTC again. I have a weird sense of peace about the loss. That I ever wanted it to happen to me...but I'm not unaware that these things don't happen daily. I have a business based on it...so I knew it could happen. Did I get upset at first hell ya, I will always wonder if things had joined differently what this baby would have been like. Not to mention I'm being cheated on a winter baby :| I don't want to put off TTC to make it fit winter months better, but I was so excited about the idea of little hats and booties that I had started testing out patterns. You can't do that so much with a summer babe. So I will miss out on that, but I now have a little owl by my side. And just like how I smile at butterflies as they flutter by I will always have a special place in my heart for the owls of the world.
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